Lungs.

 “Nice” men will tell you how you should be behaving “respectfully” towards them, how your behaviour could be construed as hurtful, that perhaps you don’t realise, you’re unaware that what you’re doing / saying / posting on instagram is somehow a betrayal etc. 

And from the outside everyone will think you are “making a big deal of nothing” etc etc etc. 

Jonah Hill aside, men (or whoever) who use coercive control do get worse over time. 

It may start with “just” telling you they don’t think your friends are good enough for you, or how they think you should dress differently because they are trying to protect you. 

Usually their “suggestions” will be based on your best interest, or a perceived hurt you haven’t been meaning to cause - and they are trying to help you not hurt them. 

These kind of relationships destroy you over time. That’s how they gain control. They obliterate your sense of self and autonomy. 

And then sometimes they end up killing you.