Indifference.

Can I be alone? 

I just want to dissolve into nothing.

For everyone, 

Everything 

To disappear. 

And leave me to finish 

Trying to understand 

Trying to put together, 

The fucked up jigsaw 

I’m drowning in. 

Where the pieces keep changing, 

Every time I put them down. 

The floor is lava, 

And I have no idea, and

No where, that I can climb to

To get a better vantage point,

Of all the madness. 

That I still think, somehow 

I can fix. I’m just not good enough 

If I can’t save them.

If I can’t be needed 

If I don’t belong anywhere. 

If I don’t matter.

I feel like I am at some f’d up

Supermarket with no basket, 

Scrambling to hold it all together

Clasped on my chest. 

Even though everything is already 

Smashed upon the ground. 

And my arms are empty.