In the middle of the night.

 I can lie, and pretend you never cross my mind.
The mind is a powerful thing, and sometimes- it almost seems to believe me.
I can keep you to a minimum. Maintain a composure.
But, I listened to that fucking song again, and it cut my heart.

I was, so very stupid.
I look back. See all the things I didn't want to see.
Realise just what a fool I was. To open my mouth at all.
I always thought, that the silence told me all that I needed to know.
But this hope overwhelmed me and I went with it.
Clarity hits in the middle of the night. As it does.
I contemplate cutting myself off. Cutting ties.
But I just can't face it. I have lost nothing.And I don't want to now.
But I gave an awful lot away.
Left to it's own lonely devices I hope love depletes.
If I pay it no heed. A flame un-stoked should surely dispel?
Is it simple disrespect, or cowardice I question...
Where a wait for answers, turns to a nothingness.
All I wanted, was something to quiet my heart.
But this callousness, is surely all I need to grasp.
What more could words do. Than this silence?