A Soft Hell.

This week is like some kind of soft hell. I've been pouring milk all day...and I'm still bloody shit because every time I pour I feel my pulse begin to race so hard I can see it jumping in my wrist.

"it's only milk....for fucks sake..." I'm terrible at most things if I'm under scrutiny...I crumple. And it's complete and utter bollocks.

You would think I was jumping from a plane.
But so much rests on me passing this test and getting this job.

But it is...only milk.

Everything else, everything else can just sit in that little part of my mind I don't touch....or is it my heart?
For now neither of those places exist as far as I'm concerned.