Cinematic Embolism

 I used to go to the cinema a lot...
And by a lot, I mean...once a week usually. I never had a computer to download things ( and I'd frankly have been too whimpy to anyway...it's theft! : -o it's wrong...blah blah...fucking blah)
And anyway, it was the whole thing, I didn't really give a fuck that I had to sit in a room with hundreds of other people...it was dark...pretty much any situation is easier in the dark. If every social situation was set in the dark, preferably in silence...I'd be far less awkward...
In the past 4 and a half years...I can count on both hands how many times I've been to the cinema.
Much like another activity I've missed out on in the same space of time...
I lost myself, I guess is what I can see now. Or rather- I gave myself away. Things I loved. I allowed to fade away. Cinema?- it wasn't highbrow enough these days (fuck that.). I became tired of defending my love of it.
I became tired of defending my love in general.
Any way....
I was watching Film 2012...And realised like waking from a bad dream...just how many films I haven't seen...Just this year alone. How did I persuade myself I didn't absolutely need to see the Avengers Assemble?!
It's fucking ridiculous, The ways in which we can lull ourselves into being comfortable with not being comfortable at all.
So now there's this whole list of things I need to watch...
I think my head may explode.