I always drew outstanding diagrams.

The rain is falling, everything is cloaked in smoky grey cloud and it's so beautiful I stare out the window like a loon for the longest time. Amazed by every leaf that blows by so gracefully.
Yesterday I re-taught myself about the Solar System...the constellations, then I even tried half heartedly to do some algebra... Thanks to some charming adorable nine year old girl who came into the haberdashery on Sunday doing all her sums in her head...
"that's the way it should be done" I said to her Mother, nodding my head ...
as I reached for a calculator...
"Fuck !" I thought to myself (because I don't swear at children...)
This is nothing more than laziness!? Ok, so I was never particularly gifted when it came to maths...
but seriously...I still count on my fingers...

"......"


Yeah, I really do...it's harsh not being as smart as you like to think you are.But shit...
"do I really have to be good at maths...(mum...?)"
I'm not about to solve the planets great physics mysteries...or whatever the fuck...
I'm short...I use a ladder...or a tall person.
I'm ridiculous at maths....I'll count on my tiny little fingers.

But...then while watching one of those episodes of University Challenge where I'm just hearing a load of words strung together for a reason I cannot comprehend....

If you can see that you're a bit fucking stupid... sorry... that you have
certain intellectual short falls...
Does it mean you can make yourself smarter? Do stupid people know they are stupid?
I'd like to think I have the capacity for genius...
that all I'm lacking is knowledge- not intelligence...
(I'm kind of being sarcastic...and yet...)

It would be nice to watch University Challenge and not cheer every time you know an answer.
And just nod knowingly like a prick.

Anyway, one of those contestants from Cambridge was sat on the floor of Ray Stitch a few weeks ago in knee high socks and what looked like a primary school tunic talking like a crazy little girl about wool.