the numbness creeps back in.

after a beautiful day in the sun, we come home.
put on the computer.check my messages.
apparently my dads had a stroke.
yeah...
so...
that is where I fall apart.

and this, this is the part
where the numbness creeps back in.
I can feel the air as it drifts between my fingers as I type.
but.all else.
all else is flooded. bloated with too much emotion to feel.

I lie down on the kitchen floor, cold and somehow soothing.
I shut down.

one step forward.

twenty thousand steps back.