Dancing in the dark

I am thinking of throwing everything away. I stand and stare at the wall, it goes around and around.
this persistant little bugger will not let me rest. I try to find it an exit.
but it clouds my thoughts, I filter out other conversation- there is no point trying to listen when this thing, this thing is droning on and on.

I cry into my pillow, hiding it, hoping it will fade away.
not wanting to raise the subject, this need to escape.
muffling my pain, caging myself in more and more.
not knowing how not to.
this is where I am.
but I'm not sure if it is where I am ment to be.
I want it to be so badly, but the more I attempt to squeeze myself into this...
tiny little box....
the more I want to run away.
to be somebody else.
I jumped from out of one box, into another...too quickly.to easily.

and now I don't know what to do.

this time I have no violence to run from, only myself
only myself.