if the darkness is in me,what can I do.

I haven't written for a little while, partially because of my exceptionally empty mind, but also simply because I feel self conscious of how intensly sad most of what I write is.I can construct that kind of mood whenever I want to write -because there are always things to be down about.the world is what it is after all. but it probably isn't that healthy a thing to keep doing...so instead, I just don't write.
I have to make myself believe I don't need to access all the darkness bubbling beneath my skin every time I want to write well.but happiness is boring! and positive enthusiasm....fuck...it's annoying as hell..
my main problem is worrying how all these morose things I write about,have me being percieved as a human being...
my main thing,I should say...is that I shouldn't care, but I do.