the hopeful child.

I am not so tough. I fight constantly to keep up the appearance that I am.but my unshakeable bones, are beginning to quake.threatening to buckle.my skin becoming translucent
I wonder how I'll get up off my seat when my stop comes around.I feel the pulsing of my blood, my heart.like a ticking bomb.
I feel like a child lost at the supermarket. Though, he left on purpose.
He was there. And then he was gone. I caught a glimpse of what looked like contempt in his eyes.
He doesn't even try.
I want to scream out, from deep within my lungs...unselfconsiously..like a child would.
Nothing..he said nothing.

I see flickering lights,
I stare out the train doors.at the wires and the darkness. a little dizzy.
I am empty, I want to hurl my self into the tunnel. tumble into the black. swallowed up by the nothingness. and just continue falling.

There was no love in him.
no love in his way,
but I kept looking for it. all this time.

"where's he gone? " Tom says.

"he's just gone"...