Lungs.

I want to scream.
but, I hold it in.

I keep thinking things, like...watching something about the war- thinking...one of Grans brothers died in the war...then, ah..and now.she's gone too.

it burns, it aches...it's horrific. unchangeable..

I speak so sensibly,so calmly whenever I talk to anyone about it..
"that's life isn't it....yes, she had a good long time on earth....she wouldn't have wanted to be dependent...."

one more day.one more conversation, one more phonecall.
one more glimpse-however brief.

salt.falls.

I wipe my face.there is nothing I can do.