Everything.

Everything is empty, and nothing- it seems...means very much at all any more.
She is not gone, but already I begin counting memories.
I try to be logical. I try not to feel.
I try to be as strong as she always was.

She has to hold on.

She picks me up from playgroup, and we sit and watch Neighbours...even though she apparently thinks.it's a load of rubbish.
She hates the cats, but they always seem to be upstairs sleeping at her feet.
She likes to burn rubbish in the back garden- I learn the word Pyromaniac.

I love her so much that I see her less and less as she grows old.Because I want to believe.
it will mean I'll miss her less.when she is no longer there.

but everything,in the end...is just bullshit isn't it.