boredomness

i have to get out of the house...but i'm being unbearably lazy/procrastinatory/anti-social/...and agoraphobic...that's all the fuck i need...an actual fucking phobia of going out.not that this is new to me...it just dips and raises,like waves...
it's beautiful outside,but i can't picture myself out there...i had all these ideas of what i wanted to do on my days off,but persuade myself i don't really want to go....that i need to have time to myself..blah blah blahhh.
maybe i just need to shut up and go outside.

i need a bloody good coffee.